ADHD Spotlight - Matthew Shepherd on working at Harrods and why it is important to be kind

 Matthew Shepherd is a Resourcing Partner at Harrods. Here Matthew shares his diagnosis of ADHD, OCD and RSD. He talks about why he feels his neurodivergent brain gives him a competitive edge at work and why it’s important to always be kind.

What do you do for work?

I am a Resourcing Partner at the wonderful Harrods. My day to day consists of meeting with Hiring Managers to discuss their recruitment requirements. I then go to market and through talent attraction and head hunting find a strong candidate for the requirement.

It is an amazing place to work, they are fully supportive of my ADHD, OCD, and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) and actively encourage me to embrace it.

What do you get up to when you aren’t working at Harrods?

My main enjoyment comes from my beautiful four-year-old daughter Maisy. She is my purpose in life and my inspiration, she is perfect in every way and nothing makes me happier than spending time with her.

She does however have me wrapped around her little finger, is very sassy, and the most fashion conscious 4-year-old you will ever meet! I have a beautiful wife called Laura who I have now been with for over 10 years, not to sound cheesy and cliché but she is my best mate and makes me really happy. I also have a little sausage dog called Milo he is 5 months old and has really completed our family.

Outside of family life I love playing football, and do so competitively three times a week, I have played since I was 8 years old and it’s such a great release for me. I enjoy going to the gym every morning as it helps me start the day feeling alert and motivated and ready for whatever weird and wonderful things the day has in store for me.  

Did you ever feel different?

From the age of 8 I remember always over thinking things. Stuff my sister would shrug off would be a big deal to me and I would overplay in my mind and catastrophise worst case scenarios.

I always worried that something bad was going to happen all the time and was a very anxious child. I was well behaved, but very clumsy and loud, and easily influenced and end up doing things I shouldn’t.

I struggled academically unless it was a subject I really enjoyed, at which point I would obsess and usually do quite well.  I was always on the go from a young age, and this is something I have took into adult life, I feel as if I can’t sit still and always need to be doing something to occupy my mind. I find that when I do try to switch off, that is when my mind goes into overdrive and almost looks for something to either stress or obsess about.

How old were you when you were diagnosed?  

I was diagnosed with ADHD in June 2023 at the age of 34. I always suspected I was different from a young age, but it was not until adult life when I am starting to get older and my body slowing down that I struggled with the day to day and my mind working in overdrive.

It was my wife who encouraged me to go to the doctors after watching a reality TV series with Tommy Mallet. He had recently been diagnosed with ADHD. She thought we displayed the same traits, and after watching it with her I agreed.  So I booked a doctor’s appointment. I think with him being a similar age, having similar interests as me, and being quite relevant, it resonated with me more.

I am so glad I did, as now I have been diagnosed I can label it which means I can step back from it. I realise that ADHD, OCD, and RSD are a part of me, but they are not me. They don’t define me, but they have helped me get to where I am in life and I am proud of that.

Since being diagnosed I have used my knowledge to support others both in and outside of work, and I am actively looking to volunteer and support where I can with charities to share my story and support other in similar situations.

For the first time in my life I feel content and in a good place.

How long did you have to wait for a diagnosis?

After going to the doctors they got me to complete a questionnaire. They informed me the results indicated there was a good chance I had ADHD but I would need to be referred to a specialist. Then they broke the news that the waiting list was approx. two years! This really disappointed me, and I could see why so many people don’t go through the hassle of contacting the doctors as the delay is very frustrating.

Luckily for me I was able to go private and book a consultation. I managed to get an appointment in 12 weeks. I was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and RSD, and was put on a three-month course of medication (Elvanse 30mg). For me I was very sceptical about going on medication as I had got to where I was without it. However, I decided to give it a go as there was nothing to lose.

I understand medication is not for everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, my personal experience has been a really positive one as the medication has really helped to balance me, but kept me really motivated and able to focus more without distractions.

How do you find being neurodivergent helps with your job?

I am so organised it’s amazing. ADHD/OCD is a curse and a blessing, but for me it helps me greatly with being organised and my job. The curse is you can obsess over things a bit too much sometimes, and its not always easy to see the bigger picture.

 However, I have really trained my mind to be better at this and have my own triggers.

For example, I use my Outlook diary, a paper diary, and my electronic work pad. Yes this is excessive and repetitive but doing this teaches my mind to remember things better and I like to physically tick things off my to do list as it gives me fulfilment.

I am also extremely competitive, which for my job that is heavily target focussed makes me flourish even more. It helps gives me a purpose and being at the top of leader tables inspires and motivates me.

The competitive element also helps outside of work with football. I am a striker so my job is to score goals. I like to keep tabs of all my goals, and check the website and compare myself to other players in the team and the league.

I am also very confident, which again is something I have learnt to be. I remember as a child and young adult being very shy, but understanding myself more has given me a new confidence. I always try and go out my way to make someone’s day and be kind. I try not to judge as you never know what another person is going through, being kind does not cost a thing and it’s the least we can do as humans.

I am a bit of an emotional sponge and absorb other peoples stress, which consumes a lot of my time and my happiness. I have realised it is impossible to make everyone happy all of the time.

I therefore always ensure the people closest to me are happy. I then try and be kind and good hearted to everyone else. However, I am kind to myself and mindful that its ok to switch off and have time to do the things I want to do. This was not an easy thing to learn, but now I have done it I realise being the sponge was affecting my happiness, and the closest people around me.

What are the positives of being neurodivergent?

I think the most positive thing for me was being diagnosed, this then allowed me to read and understand myself more. It is almost like a bit of closure, and it opens doors to speak to other people with the same conditions and to learn from shared experiences. I define being neurodivergent as my superpower. My mind works differently from a lot of other people and what a gift that is. I would rather stand out and be a unicorn, than be a sheep who follows the crowd.

I also think it gives me a confidence and a competitive edge like no other. Do not get me wrong, before I was diagnosed I went through a period of struggling with my mind. It was hard to control and I thought it was never going to change. That I was always going to live with constant worries and anxieties and never be able to switch off. For anyone reading this, I want you to know there is light at the end of the tunnel, however different you think you are, or the pain you are feeling now it wont last forever, as nothing is permanent and everything changes.

Have the strength to talk and you won’t look back after taking the initial step.

What was the first step to seeking a diagnosis for you?

Admitting there was something not quite right and listening to others around me. I think for men there is a stigma attached to being a “real man” which means we don’t open up about our feelings and just get on with it. The world has changed so much and the more of us who are able to open up and speak about how we feel, the better chance we have of abolishing this stigma, and helping others.

I know I have always been someone who just got on with things and didn’t like to bother others so withhold a lot internally. I know now looking back this was the wrong thing to do, there are so many people who want to help and by not talking your not only hurting yourself, but also the people closest to you who just want to help.

What is something you wish people knew about having ADHD?

Having ADHD does not mean you are loud or naughty without a filter. I think for years this is how people have perceived ADHD, and it could not be further from the truth.

People who suffer with ADHD have so much energy and passion especially when they are doing something they love and have feelings towards. I wish people would be less scared about mental health and disability and realise that every single one of us is different.

I guarantee there are millions more people out there, undiagnosed working the most prestigious jobs in the world and have only been able to get there because of their powerful neurodivergent brain. ADHD is not a weakness it is the ultimate strength!

If you want to connect with Matthew you can follow him on X (formerly Twitter) @Normz_123