Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Why you aren't 'too sensitive'
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) may not be a term you're familiar with, but it's a condition that many people have to cope with every day. Unlike physical illnesses, RSD is an emotional and psychological challenge that often goes unnoticed. People with RSD are often told they are too sensitive, or need to just toughen up. Yet RSD is much more than being over-sensitive.
What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)?
RSD is a term that describes an extreme emotional sensitivity to perceived criticism, rejection, or disapproval. It often coexists with conditions like ADHD and autism. It can also affect individuals who aren’t neurodivergent.
Imagine feeling like you're walking on eggshells, anticipating criticism or rejection in almost every interaction. That's what RSD can feel like.
98-99% of adolescents and adults with ADHD or who are autistic experience RSD.
Recognising the Signs of RSD
To understand RSD better, it is really important to recognise its common signs and symptoms:
Intense Emotional Reactions: People with RSD often experience overwhelming emotions in response to perceived criticism or rejection. This can manifest as sadness, anxiety, anger, or a deep sense of worthlessness.
Hypersensitivity: Small comments or gestures that may seem insignificant to others can trigger profound emotional responses in individuals with RSD. For example a text or whatsapp message not being replied to. This can lead to the person thinking that their friend or family member doesn’t like them anymore, or that they are a bad friend.
Avoidance Behaviours: To protect themselves from potential rejection or criticism, those with RSD might avoid social situations, new challenges, or even relationships altogether. Finding it easier to distance themselves, before they get hurt.
Perfectionism: People with RSD often set impossibly high standards for themselves to avoid criticism, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. It’s worth remembering that done is better than perfect.
Low Self-Esteem: Chronic exposure to perceived rejection can erode self-esteem, making individuals with RSD feel inherently flawed or unlovable. This is especially true if you are diagnosed as autistic or with ADHD later in life.
The Impact of RSD on Daily Life
Living with RSD is like carrying a heavy emotional burden. It affects various aspects of people’s lives including relationships. RSD can strain relationships, including friendships because individuals may ‘overreact ‘ to minor disagreements or distance themselves to avoid rejection. At work and school, fear of criticism can hinder productivity and lead to procrastination or job hopping. It can also affect academic performance in students.
RSD can also affect mental health. It can co-occurs with conditions like depression and anxiety.
Understanding and Coping with RSD
If you suspect you have RSD or know someone who does, here are some strategies to help manage it:
Self-Awareness: Recognising the symptoms of RSD is the first step. Understanding that these intense emotions are linked to perceived rejection can be empowering. By reading and understanding more about RSD, helps hugely.
Support System: Having a supportive network of friends and family who understand RSD can make a significant difference in an individual's life. Rather than someone just being dismissed as sensitive, if people close understand, this can help hugely.
Stress Management: Learning stress-reduction techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can help individuals better control their emotional responses. If these seem tricky activities and you find it hard to switch off, even watching a comforting programme or your favourite film can help hugely.
ADHD/Autism Coaching: Finding an ADHD coach who has ADHD themselves can be hugely beneficial. Especially learning strategies and tools to be able to help manage RSD long term, can be life changing.
Neurodiversity Training: Workplace neurodiversity training can be hugely beneficial in helping colleagues understand how to support their neurodivergent colleagues who may suffer from RSD.
Supporting Someone with RSD
If you know someone with RSD by educating yourself and understanding RSD and its impact, is crucial to providing effective support. Listen and Validate and being there to listen without judgment is really important. Validate their feelings, even if you don't fully understand their intensity.
Be Patient, understand that individuals with RSD might need more time to process emotions and decisions. Lastly encourage professional help, whether that is ADHD/Autism coaching, therapy or counselling if appropriate. Go one step further and offer to help find someone that can help and support.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is a hidden struggle that affects many individuals, often unnoticed by those around them.
By raising awareness, talking about it and offering support, goes a lot way to help those with RSD. Remember empathy, understanding and being kind go a long way in making a positive impact on someone with RSD.